Ever see a 95-five-year old female terrorist?

Um, me either. So after my wide-eyed reading of the incident involving a woman, 95 years old, being forced to remove her diaper, I begin my week in serious contemplation of just what form of recruitment process and subsequent training goes into a person becoming a Transportation Security Administration (TSA) person. 

Does one need to have a high school education?  Do they need to pass a  background or credit check? If I am allowed to go off to the side here a moment, we might all be in trouble at the high school diploma requirement, since there are tons of kids receiving high school diplomas today that cannot spell and would be hard pressed to locate the great sates of our United States on a map. They might even think that Salvador Dali is the newest pop singing sensation.  We are becoming a seriously dumbed down country and I find it embarrassing. 

What I find outrageous is the violation of this woman as she proceeded through security on her way to board a plane. The purpose of airport security is to screen passengers in order to weed out and curtail potential terroristic activity, and keep our skies safe for travel. As I read this, I was wondering if we had ever in our history felt threatened by a 95-year-old woman.  I realize that is a bit of a head-scratcher but I concluded that we have never felt such a threat. 

Reading further, it seems that TSA has also come under fire for pat-downs on six-year-old girls?  As a parent I can tell you, there is no way in Hell that would have happened to my daughter.  Did the folks in charge of TSA need to revise policies on pat-downs of children under 12? Really?

There has got to be a smarter, more sensible way to keep our skies safe.  I know there just has to be.  In this, and too many other ways to count, we are not smart, we are a joke.

To common sense~~

Happy Mother’s Day~~

 

 

In the United States, the origin of Mother’s Day can be traced to the “Mother's Day Proclamation" of Julia Ward Howe, written in 1870.  She believed that women should play a major role in shaping society. In 1912, Anna Jarvis trademarked the phrases "second Sunday in May" and "Mother's Day", and created the Mother's Day International Association. Here in the United States we have celebrated this day on the second Sunday of May ever since. 

So what does it mean to celebrate this day to honor our mothers?  We all have early memories; some good, some great, some not so great, and some downright suck. If we are lucky, these memories are full of warmth, feeling loved, being nurtured.  If we are not, perhaps they are filled with less than that.

Do we honor great mothers only? Good mothers? What constitutes being a good mother? Does that mean apricot fried pies after school, bandaged knees, big hugs at our accomplishments, tears kissed away when we have been hurt?  Does it mean sacrifice and working a nine-to-five or not so nine-to-five job to make sure we were financially secure and stable?  Does it mean being unselfish and making the ultimate sacrifice of giving us over to adoption so that another mother can take care of us and give us a better life? 

Or do we honor our mothers simply because they brought us into the world?  When we look back as we were growing up, do we feel we were loved enough? Do we feel we were loved too much? Did we get the tools to lead a productive and fulfilled adult life after we have left that proverbial nest?

Maybe we hold our mothers to standards impossible to meet. As we grow older and become mothers ourselves do we begin to forgive a little?  Or do we find that we forgive a lot?  Or, do we wrap ourselves around our hurts and hold tight so that we never forgive?

When we travel back to before our mothers were mothers, what do we see?  What was her childhood like?  Was she loved enough? What were her dreams? Once we start to look further, can we find it possible to believe that she did the best she could with the tools she was also given?  

At least, I think we can. I choose to honor my mother for giving me life and a chance to shape the days I have been given on this earth. The chance to have had my own children and right what I thought went wrong in my childhood. And, just maybe, to be forgiven for my mistakes and imperfections, and for what I brought into my children’s lives from my own.

To our mothers~~   

United We Stand~~

It was only a few days ago that I was here renewing my presence on Feisty After Fifty, after having gone through life changes that were unexpected, turning this life around.   

Today our country is in shock after Saturday's tragedy in Tucson. The attempted assassination of U.S. Rep. (D) Gabrielle Giffords and resulting death of at least six others caught in the cross fire, have left us all in shock and searching for answers.

The names of the dead, according to a local news station are: 63-year-old U.S. District Judge John Roll, Gabe Zimmerman, 30,  Dorwin Stoddard, 76, Dorthy Murray, 76 and Phyllis Scheck, 79, and finally, 9-year-old  Christina Greene who attended the fatal meeting because she was interested in politics.

I mention their names because they should be remembered. I pray that Rep. Giffords has a complete recovery, but let's not forget the lives that were lost that day, a day that will now go down in the history books for our children and grandchildren to read about.

And when they do, what will they think of us?  All of us in our age group remember the sixties, how turbulent they were, and we remember the assassinations and the violence. And we should remember how we reacted to that.  Remember?

Not since that time, all those years ago, have I been witness to the level of violence, fear, loss of decorum, and complete lack of respect for one another. It feels as though everything that has always made us "us" has gone.  How many times have we watched the news and some of the reactions of the government officials in "those" countries, looking down our noses at how uncivilized they all seemed. Prided ourselves with the knowledge that at least WE in the United States knew how to conduct ourselves. And we did. Then.

I have watched us in the last few years and have been unable to contain my disappointment. I arrogantly believed that we had overcome, that we had learned the lessons of the past and would at the very least never forget that, no matter what else made us different, we were all Americans. United. That, just like any family, we might bicker and yet, in the face of outside danger, we came together and would fight to the end any enemy that threatened our way of life, our common ground.

 

It would seem today that we no longer need enemies from the outside, for we are destroying ourselves.  How will we react this time? Or will we?

One nation,  indivisible~~

Tena

Hello again~~

Life can turn on a dime, "they" say.  When you see that it has turned  drastically for you or someone you love, it is small comfort (albeit some comfort, still)  to look around and see that it has turned for thousands upon thousands of people just like you. People that did what they thought were all the right things too. In times like these, you discover what you are made of. You hear that all the time, but that is because it is true. Are you stronger than you ever imagined you were, or had to be? Do you go with grace?  Do you tap into resources you never thought you had? What I truly love about us as Americans is the absolute resilience and strength and "damn the torpedoes" stuff we are made of. It is why I have always loved and still love our country and our people.

As you can see, I have not been here for awhile. It has been quite a long hiatus because life got interesting. This journey took some twists and turns that were harrowing, and I have learned that strength can come from where you least expected it to be. You can also discover grace, and there is something to be said for that. Actually, there is a lot to be said for that.

I am back here now, and will continue.  I still find that this journey into second adulthood  can be a roller coaster ride at times, and well, that just reminds me of how much fun that used to be.  Let the fork in the road come, I am ready to take the one less traveled by.

To the journey~~

Tena

Yes, but it sucks eggs, too~~

This stuff of being a woman over fifty and being feisty and positive and all that is, well~~~a cool attitude to have about the whole thing. I mean after all, what else are we gonna do? Say that's ok, we'll just go back a few years, hang out, and we'll come back later?

I remember Oprah once having female celebrity guests on her show, in ages ranging from 40 to 70 or so. And they looked hot and we all wanted to be them. We thought, if we can be there and look like that, well then bring it on.

But when you first wake up in the morning, you haven't had your coffee yet and you stumble into the bathroom (by the way, that is not the best time to be looking in the mirror) you look up in the mirror and think "So when did my mother get here?" I mean, what a way to start the day, right?

We have great sites geared to us that I have come across like Vibrant Nation and Seasoned Woman. They are fabulous and positive and we love them. We have Oprah, we have Ellen, and a whole slew of females over fifty that exude energy and vibrance and beauty. We think yea, that's me!!

Then we look in the mirror again. And there are some days when you apply stuff and primp things and turn your face this way, that way~~~and this way, that way~~till you decide to hell with it, this is as good as it gets.

And you square your shoulders, stick your nose in the air, sniff~~~~flip off the mirror and head out the door.

The many ways it sucks~~

Tena

Great Cup a Joe~~

Anyone that knows me knows about my love of coffee. It began many moons (eons) ago, back to when I was just a girl. I don't know how exactly, but it somehow shaped my life that I recall very early mornings with my grandfather. The rest of the household still asleep, I would sit with him while he prepared to leave the house to start his work day.

There was always coffee, and it was always strong. He'd allow me this little glimpse of him as he fussed around the kitchen each morning, putting his lunch in a metal pail and taking a few minutes to enjoy another cup before heading out the door.

Fast forward those many moons and today I love coffee to the extent that I should have bought stock in Starbucks, and appreciate good coffee wherever I find it. So when I saw that O Magazine made mention of a company called The Roasterie, I had to check it out.

They have a product line that includes Certified Fair Trade Organic, a line of dark, green and flavored coffee, and teas. The coolest thing they have is My Blend, as mentioned in O.

You go to their site and answer a few questions about your preferences. I think there are something like eight questions in all. They blend a coffee made just for you. You get to create your own label in your own words and add a photo if you want to. Then you save and share your profile. How cool is that? I just ordered mine, and you can find them at www.theroasterie.com.

And no, they aren't paying me but if I find something fun, I like to tell friends about it and pass it on. I also like neat sites and I think this is one. They believe in giving back to their community and to me, that is something to promote.

Have fun blending!!

Tena

Feels like being an oreo~~

I have a birthday coming. My son was asking me the other day what I felt about that. Since this is my second adulthood and new territory in a sense, I didn't know how to answer. But of course my brain never has a chance to catch up with my mouth, so I said something anyway.

I said that what I'd love is to never have anymore birthdays and yet STILL be around. I mean, considering the alternative I don't want to tempt almighty fate or anything. I like being here. For some reason, I can not understand why this has to be my second adulthood when I was never that hot at being in the first one. Or was I? What I do hope is that I have been a good person, woman, mother. I know I haven't been a perfect specimen of any of those.

What it does feel like is being in the middle. I have my son who has not yet made me a full empty nester, and I have a mother that is in a nursing home. She has early Alzheimers disease. My sister bears the biggest brunt of caring for her as I am further away. When I visit my mother I am reminded that she is the second female in my family that has spent some time in nursing homes.

I am in the middle. I have no anchors in any sense that I used to have anchors, as they are gone or either not able to anchor anymore. And I still am responsible to my son and many times wonder if I have been up to the task.

I don't know. I do know that I like the person he is. He is no more perfect than any of us but I like his big and gentle heart, his patience (that no way he got from me) and I like his intelligence.

It sometimes feels as though there are fewer and fewer people around that remember me in the first half, the first journey into adulthood. I struggled with my identity as we all did . But it might be nice to have those folks around that remember how I became who I am. It was those years, those people, those experiences that made me this person, this woman.

To those of us in the middle~~

Tena

When you wonder where the money will come from~~

For several months we have all heard the stories. People that were once above water now wonder if they will be able to keep a roof over their heads. Many of them don't even know how to deal with the fear let alone how to focus and find a way to keep afloat.

Scary thing, when you have heard it said we are all only a couple of paychecks away from the streets. Only when you face that for yourself do you realize the truth in that statement. And it will keep you up at night in a cold sweat and fear like you may never have known.

And it can really tick you off~~~you have done it all right, played by the rules, did what you have been told you were supposed to do.

The advice we get from the well-meaning and popular financial advisors is all well and good, but not very practical in terms of just putting food on the table.

But some good things can emerge from all this as well. For one, you can see with a stark clearness of vision just who your true friends are. Funny, you find that they number more than likely, on the fingers of one hand.

That's ok, because you find a level of appreciation for them that might not otherwise have existed and you will go forward to cherish them much more than before.

I do not believe our learning process is complete yet and I do not know what else will emerge from this place that many of us find ourselves or our loved ones in. But I believe it will eventually be ok and we will be stronger than before.

To our strength~~

Tena

Not again~~

Gustav is coming closer to New Orleans~~~and I remember another day three years ago. I recall images and the emotions they evoked that I will never in my life forget. That there is also this stirring fear it could happen again brings tears to my eyes.

According to the news this morning, Gustav may have weakened to a Category 2, down from the Category 4 that it was when taking aim for New Orleans earlier. Please let it be. Please let it be spared this time, this city that is called The Big Easy. A city that America just can not be complete without. If you have ever been to New Orleans, you will know what I am talking about. It's a place that, once you have been there, draws you back~~~again and again and again.

Katrina hit the city three years ago~~~and remembering brings back those images that one just never expected to see in America. Viewing the aftermath on television was like viewing images of some far removed third world country~~~leaving one with a feeling of sadness for those enduring those circumstances "over there". But it was always "over there", wasn't it?

As I write this, 2 million people have evacuated. At least this time there was enough preparation for that to happen. Maybe this time a young boy and his father can get on a bus and not worry about abandoning a beloved pet, a dog that young boy refused to leave behind. Because being prepared to leave before the storm hit~~~that didn't happen the last time. Not before over 1600 people died. Not before patients in hospitals were left to die without proper care and doctors, so tired and yet remaining to try to do what little they could. Not before the body of an old woman was covered by a cardboard box, remaining there on the street~~~dying with no dignity. Not when Katrina hit and devastated the city from the 9th Ward to the Garden District to the French Quarter. Whether the damage was physical or not, the damage was deep and lasting.

Celebrities such as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Oprah Winfrey and Ellen Degeneres have tried to help rebuild~~truly rebuild and not simply throw money toward the effort as some others did. K-Ville with Anthony Anderson playing Detective Marlin Boulet was a television show that reminded us of the bravery and courage and determination of many in the NOPD. K-Ville, a show that was canceled early~~~more than likely because there was not enough of a following to keep it alive. More than likely because we forget. That was then, it couldn't happen again, right? Move on, get over it, it's over~~~we don't need to be reminded of something that was in the past, do we? Sure, we don't.

That was Katrina. We can hope and pray that lessons were learned and awareness such that the aftermath of Gustav will be much different. Leaders made mistakes and learned, too. Let's hope we learned enough.

To the Big Easy and her people~~

Tena

Taking care of our own~~

We are such an awesome part of our overall population in this country that is the USA. I'm proud to be part of that, which is why Feisty After Fifty was born.

At the same time, not all of us are doing well. In fact, many are in trouble. Not just the kind of trouble that makes us buckle down and curb some expenses, get fewer manicures, or buy less at the make-up counter. No~~~the kind of trouble I'm talking about is not having enough money to pay the rent, the mortgage, the lights, even have enough food to eat. In America you say? Yes.

Those that are in trouble? We may not know it to see her~~we may see her in the line at the grocery store, work side by side with her every day, notice her leaving her house or pass her in the parking lot in our apartment communities.

And never know that inside that apartment there are no lights because she can't pay rent and the light bill, too. That she walks the aisle at the store and wonders how she can feed herself, and how she got where she is. That she works forty hours a week and is a productive citizen~~~and still has to rob Peter to pay Paul just to pay basic living expenses. Always falling short, month after month, after month.

She is divorced or single and was laid off from her job, has a mortgage with a sky-high interest rate, went through an illness that kept her out of work, took care of a family member that became ill. There are a myriad of reasons and circumstances that brought her to that place, and none of them are through any fault of her own. No, she didn't bring it on herself by squandering money or doing drugs. She was/is a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister that did everything right. Just like you, just like me.

I've seen mention of wonderful programs that we as women in the greatest country in the world have endeavored to create and fund. Programs to set up funds so that women in foreign countries can work for themselves~~to empower them. We have given of our time and money and resources toward human rights for women all over the globe.

While all of these are wonderful and generous, and even further demonstrate what makes us truly giving and remarkable women~~~what about the women in our own backyard? What of them?

While thinking about all of this, I decided to do a search. I was totally ready to sit down and sort through all of the wonderful resources that I was sure to find, and report my findings here at Feisty After Fifty. They aren't there. True, mine was s cursory glance. Yet it seemed to be enough to know that what is out there, if anything, falls tremendously short of addressing the problem.

Sure, there are welfare programs and food stamp programs. They serve a purpose. I'm not talking about women that can benefit from them, because the women I am talking about fall under a different category. They have children that are too old for them to be considered for benefits under welfare~~~they are too young to be eligible for social security or benefits for the older citizen. The women I am talking about are in a no-man's land where none of these resources are there for for them, available to them.


What can we do? I don't know, but I know that talking about it, bringing it to the table is a start. We are smart, we are generous, we have strength and we have courage on our side. We should be able to come up with some answers~~~to take care of our own first. If we can't take care of our own, how can we take care of anyone else?

For the women in our own backyard~~

Tena